


as long as it's nothing

by whataboutateakettle



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Recreational Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-13
Updated: 2017-05-13
Packaged: 2018-10-31 06:55:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10894074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whataboutateakettle/pseuds/whataboutateakettle
Summary: "two straight men, just chilling" // Mac visits Dennis at college





	as long as it's nothing

**Author's Note:**

  * For [porterville](https://archiveofourown.org/users/porterville/gifts).



> Warning for canon-consistent homophobia, misogyny, and drug use.

“I don’t get it, why do I have to keep my eyes closed?”

Mac twists his neck, looks over his shoulder as he buttons up his pants, making sure he’s not cheating. Sure enough, Charlie is sitting on his bed with a hand covering his eyes.

“Because,” he says, scans the floor looking for his t-shirt. The cool one with the cowboys. “I’m getting changed and you wouldn’t leave my room. It’s weird to watch another dude get dressed unless it’s in the locker-room.”

Charlie hums. “I don’t think it’s that weird.”

Well, Charlie didn’t think anything was that weird, so he couldn’t be trusted.

“It is weird, okay?” he huffs, pulling the t-shirt over his head. “Don’t tell me you like that kind of stuff.”

Charlie’s hand is still covering half his face, and Mac’s not sure why he needed the hand anyway. He could have just closed his eyes like a normal person. But he can tell Charlie is confused by the weird frown. “What kind of -” he starts, then shakes his head and gives up. “Look, can I open my eyes now?”

Mac’s stuffing his feet into his boots. “Huh? Oh yeah, sure.”

“So why’d you have to get changed anyway?” Charlie goes again, with the stupid questions. Just because he thinks it’s okay to go weeks without a shower doesn’t mean it’s actually a good idea. Mac showered that morning obviously, but he’s spent all day with Charlie and he’s pretty sure some of the stink had transferred onto him. And it’s not like he could go to Dennis’ smelling like weird sweaty glue.

“Dude. We’re going to hang out with Dennis tonight, in his dorm room,” he grins. “Check it; I’m even bringing the good stuff!”

Instead of grinning back, Charlie frowns again, his face now hand-free. “Aw man. I hate going there. Why can’t Dennis ever come hang down here with us?”

“What are you talking about?”

Charlie’s usually up for anything, especially if it involves the good stuff. He waves his hands around, “We gotta catch a bus and then the train, and then we gotta go through all the hallways with all the people and -”

“Hallways?” Great, now he’s the one frowning. “What are yo- Look, whatever, dude. If you wanna smoke, you gotta come.”

He pulls open his underwear drawer, finds the small bag he’s sorted for tonight. There’s only two joints, but it’s pretty strong so it should be enough. He’s shoving them in his pant pocket when Charlie stands up.

“Nah, I’ll pass. I’ve got a fresh can at home anyway, so I’m all set. Besides when you smoke with Dennis you get all-” he waves his hands again.

“What? What does that mean?” He wonders whether Charlie’s on that shit right now, because he’s been smoking with Dennis for years and he’s never been... weird or whatever, not once.

Charlie shrugs, just takes a couple steps back towards the door.

“Nah, it’s nothing. Say hi to Dennis.”

 

* * *

 

So they’d definitely agreed on six pm, but no one is answering the door to Dennis’ dorm room so he’s stuck sitting on the floor in the hallway. It’s been ten minutes already, and it’s not like he’s a stickler for time or anything, but the other guys on this floor keep giving him weird looks as they walk by and he’s just getting a little -

“Oh hey man, sorry. I got caught up in the shower,” a voice says from his left and he looks up to see Dennis standing there, in nothing but a towel and flip flops, a shower bag hanging off his fingertips.

“Uhhh -” Mac’s eyes widen, “I knocked. But I don’t think your roommate is in there.” His hand moves up to point the door behind him, but he goes too hard and his knuckles bang against the wood.

“Huh?” Dennis looks confused for a moment. Mac wonders whether this is normal for him now, to walk around in public with water still dripping down his chest. And then he realises he’s still sitting on the ground and scrambles up to his feet. “Oh. No, he’s got a thing on, something stupid like clown class probably. What a loser.” Dennis fishes a key out of his shower bag. “Anyway, who gives a shit? We have the place to ourselves.” He looks over his shoulder and smiles at Mac as he unlocks the door and lets them both in.

Mac follows him in, reminds himself to keep his eyes on the floor.

“Did you bring it?” Dennis asks as he closes the door, drops the bag on the floor. Mac lifts his head.

“Duh,” he grins as he pats his pocket.

“Nice!” Dennis grins back, “Let me just get dressed. It’d be weird to hang out in a towel all night.”

What’s _weird_ is that just Dennis drops his towel to the floor, then takes the half a step to his dorm-sized chest of drawers, digs around for a pair of underwear like his butt isn’t right in Mac’s eye line. And he didn’t even warn him, or give him a chance to close his eyes.

Mac notices the lump in his throat around the time Dennis pulls his jeans over his fresh y-fronts. He’s still turned away from him, but the wide expanse of his back is right there, a couple of droplets of water resting on his pale skin.

“Alright,” Dennis turns back to him, rubbing his hands together. “Let’s have some fun.”

Mac frowns, swallows the lump down with some effort. “You have to put a shirt on.”

“What, why?” Dennis looks confused and Mac wonders how he gets around life not knowing the basic rules of being a straight dude.

“Because it’s weird for straight dudes to just hang out shirtless.” Because that’s _obvious_.

“What?” Dennis looks at him like he’s the one being weird, but after a moment he just sighs, turns back to his drawers, “Okay, fine, whatever.”

 

* * *

 

“You weren’t lying, this is good stuff,” Dennis says after taking a drag, handing it back to Mac. He’s got the second joint still in his pocket, which Dennis doesn’t know, because he doesn’t want to waste two if he doesn’t have to.

“I told you!”

They’re lying side by side on Dennis’ tiny twin-sized bed, Dennis half-squashed against the wall, Mac half-balancing on the edge of the mattress. Dennis shifts a little, tucks an arm under his head so that his elbow almost hits the side of Mac’s head. He’s not even looking, but the bed is small enough so that every movement feels huge.

“Man, you know, I’ve missed this. We haven’t hung out like this in ages.”

It’s only been four months since Dennis started moved up to the dorms. Mac still doesn’t get why he didn’t stay at home, his room was way bigger and way nicer but Dennis had said this was the only way to get the Total College Experience, so he and Charlie just had to take his word on it. They still hang out all the time though. Dennis tells them about the babes at all the college parties, and how easy the classes are. But he gets what Dennis means; they haven’t hung out like this in a couple months.

If Dennis notices that Mac is quiet he doesn’t mention it, instead he just continues, “The last person I smoked with was this random chick at a party. Huge jugs, you would’ve died. Anyway, so she tells me she’d never shotgunned before. You believe that? So naturally I had to show her how it’s done.” He laughs at that, like he’s tricked the whole world.

“S’not that weird. I’ve never done it.” He means to sound casual, but his voice is off, sounds like he’s just woken up.

Dennis pushes himself up onto his elbow, looks down at him. “What do you mean you’ve never done it? You’re a drug dealer, Mac.”

He shrugs, avoids catching Dennis’s eye and stares at the ceiling as he takes another drag. “I deal to other dudes. No way I’m shotgunning with another dude. That’s _gay_.”

“Woah, wait,” Dennis makes a face, reaches out to take the joint out from Mac’s fingers.

“There’s nothing gay about it. Here -” he starts to shuffle closer.

“What are you doing?!”

“Will you relax? We’re two straight men, just chilling, okay? You remember the rules?”

Of course Mac remembers the rules. He couldn’t forget them, no matter how hard he’s tried since Dennis came up with them in junior year. He nods.  

Dennis nods back, “Good. Now hold still and let me show you how it’s done. The less you move, the more I can pretend you’re the hot blonde from my Psych class.”

Dennis shifts his elbow even closer to Mac’s head, and brings his own head right above him. Mac stares up at him, tries to figure out whether he should close his eyes or not. No, obviously not.

Dennis brings the joint to his lips and takes a long drag, puffing his cheeks out. Mac’s not entirely sure that’s necessary, but there’s nothing else to say as Dennis lowers his head, slowly but surely. When he’s close, too close, he slowly blows the smoke out.

For a second Mac’s frozen, he can’t move and the smoke is just sitting between them, dissipating. Then finally, he comes to his senses somewhat, inhales it in properly. It feels the same, if a little diluted by the open air between them. He ignores the knot in his stomach.

“How was that?” Dennis pulls his face back half an inch so Mac feels the words on his face more than hears them.

“Um. Good, I guess.”

“Great. You did great, man. Now you go,” Dennis grins down at him, pushes himself up a little so he can bring the joint between them.

"Sure, whatever,” Mac shrugs, trying his hardest to appear casual. It’s not a big deal. Two straight men, just chilling.

Dennis holds the joint to Mac’s lips and he takes a drag, as long as he possibly can, trying to show Dennis he’s not the only one that can show off. Dennis grins, brings his lips down again. Mac starts to exhale and Dennis is ready. As he inhales the smoke, Dennis leans a little further, Mac can tell by the way Dennis’ chest brushes against his own, to make sure he gets all of it. And just as there’s no more smoke, as Mac prepares himself for the cold air of Dennis pulling away, Dennis reaches down even further, suddenly his lips are on Mac’s, pushing his mouth further open and Dennis’s tongue is inside his mouth. Fuck. Mac squeezes his eyes shut and thinks of um, anyone. That chick that works at the Wawa on Sundays. Yeah, she’ll do.

Dennis’ lips move against his, and his, somehow, without question, without reason, reciprocate.

He’s itching to grab at something, but everything above him is just Dennis. His hands stretch out, grab as much of the bed cover as they can, twists it between his fingers.

They make out – No, they don’t. They _do whatever_ for – Mac has no idea how long. Time becomes a blur, and he thinks that is definitely the weed. But at some point, Dennis lurches up and back.

“Ahh, shit, my arm’s cramping!” He holds his elbow to his body. Mac notices that his lips are pink and swollen and he wonders if his are the same. Mac wonders where the rest of joint went.

“You hungry?” He asks instead.

“Huh?” Dennis looks at him, still rubbing at his elbow, “Yeah, there’s a vending machine downstairs, let’s go.”

They go and Dennis buys them two bags of Cheetos and they head back. As they go back to Dennis’ dorm a tall buff dude in a towel exits the bathroom and gives Mac a weird look. Which is stupid because he’s not the one in a towel in public. But he wipes a hand against his mouth self-consciously anyway; tells himself no one could know what happened in Dennis’ room. His lips tingle a little at the contact and he stuffs another Cheeto in his mouth.  

Back insides Dennis’ room, Mac pointedly sits on the bed, his back upright against the wall. Dennis looks disappointed for a moment, but doesn’t say anything, just sits next to him. Mac eats more Cheetos, hoping the taste of orange cheese dust will drown out everything else. They sit in silence for a while.

“I was thinking of opening up a bar when I get out of here. Like Cheers? I could be a better looking Ted Dansen. Find a Diane to my Sam. She’d have bigger tits, of course.”

Dennis breaks the silence first, and for a moment Mac is confused. This is the first he’s heard about any bar, and he’s usually the first person Dennis tells his crazy weird plans to.

 “I thought you wanted to be a veterinator- uh, I mean, I thought you wanted to make animals more better?”

 "Huh?” Dennis turns his heads a little. Mac realises how close their heads are right now, realises how, despite the whole length of the bed, Dennis sat right next to him. Dennis’ lips are still pink. Are they always this pink? “Oh yeah sure, but I can do both. How cool would it be to own a bar though? I can be a vet by day and then by night, I’ll be the coolest barkeep in Philly. And anyway I’d hire people to do the heavy lifting in the bar.” His eyes light up, and he grins. “Hey, I could hire you! Then you wouldn’t have to be a drug dealer anymore.”

He thinks about it, imagines him and Dennis working in a bar. It means that they’d spend way more time together, which he doesn’t mind. “What would I even do in a bar?” he muses. And then he thinks back to the buff guy in the hall. “Ohhh wait! Can I be the bouncer? Please Dennis? I’ll gain like, a tonne of mass, and I’ll just be huge.”

Dennis is looking at him with a slight smile, the one which sometimes makes Mac uneasy, but he’s too excited to care right now.

“Sure buddy, you’re the bouncer.”

 

* * *

 

“What the fuck?!” The guy hisses, slams the door behind him. “It reeks in here, you idiot. You’re going to get us in so much trouble.”

“Oh calm down, just enjoy it.” Dennis laughs, but it only seems to make the guy, Matt?, even more mad.

“Fuck. Open the window, I’ll be back in an hour. Your boyfriend better be gone by then,” he says, dropping his bag on his bed.

“Hey, I’m not gay!” Mac scrambles up from the bed.

“Whatever,” the guy shrugs and walks out of the room again. Mac watches him leave, tells himself the guy is deluded, that maybe he’s jealous of his and Dennis’ friendship. Hadn’t Dennis already told him he was a loser?

“Don’t worry about that guy, he’s a jerk,” Dennis says. And then a moment later he feels a hand, warm, firm, on his shoulder.

“I should go,” he hears himself say, pulls away from Dennis’ grip.

They’ll hang out again soon, they agree. He says he’ll convince Charlie to come next time, and Dennis nods but says nothing.

The door closes behind him, and he stands in the hallway for a second, takes a breath, before going home.

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. Prompt: "Good old fashioned "Mac visits Dennis at college and they end up smoking and making out codependently" fic. Feel free to make this as cliche as you want, or subvert the trope in a new and interesting way." ( I hope this works. I don't know how much I subverted but I hope it's still interesting!)
> 
> 2\. This is my first Sunny fic ever so I really hope I did the characters justice too. 
> 
> 3\. And on that note: as part of the series of choices and circumstances that make up my life I have also never shotgunned before. Nor have I been in a US college dorm. So, we can all wonder together why this prompt is the one that spoke to me the most. 
> 
> 4\. A million thanks to my beta [ Ginny ](http://archiveofourown.org/users/ginny_star/pseuds/ginnystar) for doing an amazing job when without having ever seen the show. 
> 
> 5\. The title comes from Jens Lenkman's _How Can I Tell Him_ because it just seemed right.


End file.
